Are You Being Lifted Up or Dragged Down?

By | Category: Lead Story, Marketing, Mindset, Personal Reflections, Strategic Planning, Time Management

Are You Being Lifted Up

If you have big goals and are taking action to make them a reality but you are not surrounding yourself with the right people you may find yourself stalled without knowing why and not reaching your goals as quickly as you could have. Jim Rohn , the modern philosopher said, “You are the average of the five people you spend the most time with.” this can be a scary thought for some people.

This summer at the lake I had a good reminder of this and how important it can be. We had an amazing weekend of fun at the cottage and afterwards I reflected on why it was so fun. I realized it was because we had another family visit us that was a fun loving active group. Instead of sitting there waiting to swim or for the weather to be exactly right, we spent almost the whole weekend either on the boat or in the water. As a result I swam more that weekend than usual, which is great because I LOVE to swim and be in the water as much as possible. I realized that when we have guests that aren’t big swimmers I spend most of my weekend on the dock or sitting in the boat. When I am with this friend, we go running, rollerblading, swimming, and I have even been convinced to sign up for a class of adult gymnastics ( that is a whole other blog post!). It is definitely a friendship that has a lot of positive energy and fits in with my goals of being fit and spending lots of fun time with my family.

But we all have had the opposite experience as well, spending time with people who drag us down with gossip, complaining, and lots of negative energy. After spending time with these people you feel worse.

So how about you? Are the people that you spend time with supporting your success? Here are some areas to look at:

  • Family
  • Friends

And in your business:

  • Employees
  • Clients
  • Business Relationships
  • Networking Groups
  • Mastermind Groups
  • Events or conferences that you attend

Once you take a look at this list and evaluate if they are lifting you up or dragging you down, you may have some changes to make especially if you are someone who seriously invests time, energy and money into your personal growth and business development. You may have outgrown the relationships that served you before and need to redefine the relationship and how much time you spend with that person and set strong boundaries in place of how you interact with this person.

It is important to surround yourself with people who not only have big goals like you but are also action takers. A few years ago I had a referral partner who sent me coaching clients that all had been to a certain seminar, the common denominator with all of these clients was that they had super big and often extremely unrealistic goals and did not take action. So I chose to decline taking on any more of these clients since they were not a good fit for me.

The reason this is so important is that if you are hanging out in the wrong people you may find yourself holding yourself back and unable to fully express yourself and live up to the amazing potential that you have. My favorite quote from Marianne Williamson that I have printed out and framed on my desk sums it up.

“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate.
Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure.
It is our light,
not our darkness that frightens us.
We ask ourselves
“Who am I to be brilliant,
gorgeous, talented, fabulous?”
Actually, who are you not to be?
You are a child of God.
Your playing small
does not serve the world.
There’s nothing to be enlightened about
shrinking so that other people
won’t feel insecure around you.
We are all meant to shine as children do.
We were born to make manifest
the glory of God that is within us.
It is not some of us.
It’s everyone.
And as we let our own light shine,
we unconsciously give other people
permission to do the same.
As we are liberated from our own fear,
Our presence automatically liberates others.

No more surrounding yourself with people who drag you down. Stop playing small to make others feel better and get out there and live up to your full potential.

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  1. Point well taken, Stacy. Whether it’s the conventional wisdom that we reflect the five people we spend the most time with and that we’ll be somewhere in the middle in terms of their energy, success, etc. (Wonder if there’s any research behind that …) Or if it’s anecdotal evidence that we make more progress when surrounded by people who thrive versus those who just complain. In any case, there’s no upside to playing down our magnificence …

  2. I think I keep good company! Thanks for this nice article!

  3. Thanks for the great article Stacey. I definitely need to weed out a few of the people that drag me down. Sometimes that’s easier said than done though when they are family. The drain on your energy can be quite palpable when you are spending too much time with negative people! It definitely makes a difference in how we feel about ourselves and affects how we interact with others.

  4. Hi Lisa, it is harder when the people who drag you down are in your family. Some ideas, limit the time but don’t cut off the relationship, arrange activities that don’t allow as much negative interaction like going to a movie, and give yourself some buffer time to take care of yourself before and after your interactions with them.

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